forked from adam/discord-bot-shtik
note to self, stop trying to be a little bit clever. Either be omniscient or be stupid.
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@ -27,7 +27,7 @@ The problem with kleptomaniacs is that they always take things literally.
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I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
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Most people are shocked when they find out how bad I am as an electrician.
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I was addicted to the hokey pokey, but then I turned myself around.
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A termite walks into the bar and asks, "Is the bartender here?"
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A termite walks into the bar and asks; is the bartender here?
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Just burned 2,000 calories. That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.
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A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.
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I got a new pair of gloves today, but they’re both ‘lefts,’ which on the one hand is great, but on the other, it’s just not right.
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@ -39,4 +39,4 @@ If you don’t pay your exorcist, do you get repossessed?
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A ghost walked into a bar and ordered a shot of vodka. The bartender said, ‘Sorry, we don’t serve spirits here.’
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A blind man walked into a bar. and a table. and a chair.
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How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
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My teachers told me I’d never amount to much because I procrastinate so much. I told them, “Just you wait!”
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My teachers told me I’d never amount to much because I procrastinate so much. I told them, “Just you wait!”
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