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note to self, stop trying to be a little bit clever. Either be omniscient or be stupid.

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Adam R Grey 2022-01-15 20:50:51 -05:00
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jokes.txt
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@ -27,7 +27,7 @@ The problem with kleptomaniacs is that they always take things literally.
I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off. I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
Most people are shocked when they find out how bad I am as an electrician. Most people are shocked when they find out how bad I am as an electrician.
I was addicted to the hokey pokey, but then I turned myself around. I was addicted to the hokey pokey, but then I turned myself around.
A termite walks into the bar and asks, "Is the bartender here?" A termite walks into the bar and asks; is the bartender here?
Just burned 2,000 calories. That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap. Just burned 2,000 calories. That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.
A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it. A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.
I got a new pair of gloves today, but they’re both ‘lefts,’ which on the one hand is great, but on the other, it’s just not right. I got a new pair of gloves today, but they’re both ‘lefts,’ which on the one hand is great, but on the other, it’s just not right.
@ -39,4 +39,4 @@ If you don’t pay your exorcist, do you get repossessed?
A ghost walked into a bar and ordered a shot of vodka. The bartender said, ‘Sorry, we don’t serve spirits here.’ A ghost walked into a bar and ordered a shot of vodka. The bartender said, ‘Sorry, we don’t serve spirits here.’
A blind man walked into a bar. and a table. and a chair. A blind man walked into a bar. and a table. and a chair.
How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it. How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
My teachers told me I’d never amount to much because I procrastinate so much. I told them, “Just you wait!” My teachers told me I’d never amount to much because I procrastinate so much. I told them, “Just you wait!”