another draft; FAB is just 1 anti-feature.

script artifacts/script.md

@@ -1,6 +1,7 @@
 # ux manifesto
 
 [ted talk stage]
+100% of interactions with phones are miserable and infuriating. And I don't mean other people on social media, I mean smartphones themselves.
 Let me share with you my UX design manifesto.
 ready? Are you all prepared to take notes?
 **Get out of the user's fucking way.**
@@ -13,9 +14,7 @@ Software is a means to an end. But app developers think they're crafting an ℯ
 [crash different video: you're taking part in the apple experience, etc]
 They want to *increase* the time spent in an app. I assume this is favorable for ad revenue metrics. For those of us who actually do things, an app is a tool, and a tool is better when it *decreases* the time it takes to get shit done.
 
-take for example, Discord. They've given themselves loads of work to produce features other than real time chat, to justify asking you for money. Meanwhile it only exists in the first place because skype was bloated full of junk, and it only persists because their userbase refuses to use Matrix.
-
-Notice how every search company realizes that every website is overladen with trash, so they offer an "ai summary". If the accuracy ever gets good (it won't), that would be a great way to pull information out of a website without being told to sign in with google so that I can waive my privacy protections for their absolutely unnecessary cookies to then decline to sign up for their newsletter and then tell their chatbot to go find somewhere else to be useless.
+take for example, Discord. They've given themselves loads of work to produce features, to justify asking you for money. Meanwhile it only exists in the first place because skype was bloated full of junk, all of the extra stuff makes the app slower. I get it; groceries and servers are expensive. nevertheless, their addiction to progress is harming their product.
 
 [//TODO: find the actual dictionary definition, then cite that]
 The entire world of technology is mislabeled. the definition of technology is about applying knowledge to achieve practical goals. It's far more profitable to hide the fact that your only actual goal is extracting value from the people who ostensibly should be your customers. 
@@ -24,7 +23,7 @@ That's why the only practical goal to achieve at the moment is adversarial APIs.
 Accursed Farms has inspiration on how to build better UIs.
 [Accursed Farms https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AItTqnTsVjA something about "imagine a butler"]
 
-let's learn the lesson that clippy's project managers didn't: we already anthropomorphize our technology, computers don't need to pretend to be human. how would we change our bad assistant into a good one?
+let's learn the lesson that clippy's project managers didn't: we already anthropomorphize our technology, computers should aim to be less like a person and more like a useful tool.
 
 [we're going to compose a list of rules. as we say them, compose a graphic, with a serif font.]
 
@@ -46,8 +45,7 @@ offer driving directions and
 [add to on-screen list: 2) understand the concept of a road]
 understand the concept of a road.
 [Osmand+ doing its thing, as demonstrated at the start of "what apple hath wrought"]
-again, what is the function of a GPS app? To tell you where you are and how to get somewhere. So the concept of a street map and navigation app that doesn't understand the concept of a street and therefore is virtually unable to navigate it is absurd.
-yet again, 100% of interactions with phones are miserable and infuriating. And I don't mean other people on social media, I mean smartphones themselves.
+again, what is the function of a GPS app? To tell you where you are and how to get somewhere. So the concept of a street map and navigation app that doesn't understand the concept of a street and therefore is effectively unable to navigate it is absurd.
 
 ## Do what you can, and no more
 
@@ -65,9 +63,8 @@ so, ask. Should you?
 for example, keyboards on laptops.
 my laptop, much like every single other laptop I have ever seen within the last 15 years, is the least-bad design I could find. Laptop keyboards are universally moronic. 
 as a person who understands the concept of a file, I habitually save often.
-looking at my keyboard, the place where many years of muscle memory have trained me to hit the ctrl key, there’s an "fn" key instead, and the ctrl key is moved over to where i expect the windows key. fn + s is screenshot. Cinnamon's screenshot app has a cute white flash effect. That's why I flashbang myself *often*.
-[//TODO: chill, a bit?]
-apparently, if you design a laptop keyboard, a prerequisite is some kind of brain damage that makes you think people want all kinds of bullshit instead of the keys on a keyboard. Fortunately, mine was able to be set once to let the keys do what they’re supposed to. However, on my black keyboard illuminated by my mostly black screen with a couple of points of extremely bright LEDs, I can see the unnecessary functions' white labels, and the actual f key labels have a dark blue one. I get the impression including the real labels of what the keys are supposed to do was a begrudging concession. 
+looking at my keyboard, the place where many years of muscle memory have trained me to hit the ctrl key, there’s an "fn" key instead, and the ctrl key is moved over to where i expect the windows key. fn + s is screenshot. Cinnamon's screenshot app has a fun white flash effect. That's why I flashbang myself *often*.
+apparently, if you design a laptop keyboard, a prerequisite is some kind of brain damage that makes you think people want all kinds of bullshit instead of the keys on a keyboard. Fortunately, mine was able to be set once to let the keys do what they’re supposed to. However, on my black keyboard illuminated by my mostly black screen with a couple of points of extremely bright LEDs, I can see the unnecessary functions' white labels, and the actual f key labels have a dark blue one. 
 
 ## No one wants to chat with your "AI"
 
@@ -88,15 +85,15 @@ Now you start up your word processor and it jumps in the way to say hi and chat
 Fortunately, clippy was killed off pretty quickly. As long as people are projecting a personality onto their computer, we hated clippy as intensely as we'd hate any other pest. And of course there are some people who felt the opposite. I'll leave a link in the show notes to an erotic fan fiction starring clippy that you can actually buy.
 [https://www.amazon.de/-/en/Leonard-Delaney-ebook/dp/B00UJ01WBW]
 
-Microsoft eventually came to their senses and euthanized clippy. Then a few years later, they bought Halo. Once that story concluded, some idiot at microsoft figured they could try again to make clippy happen, as Cortana. The arms race between users trying to disable cortana and microsoft "accidentally" reenabling her could be its own video.
-years pass, the most glorified markov chain in the world, chatGPT, conqueres society.
+Microsoft eventually came to their senses and euthanized clippy. Then a few years later, they bought Halo. Once that story concluded, some idiot at microsoft figured they could try again to make clippy happen, as Cortana. 
+years pass, the most glorified markov chain in the world conqueres society.
 Cortana is dead. 
 [next line: that comic with google and google+ "papa, why do they not love me? i do not know, child. But I will MAKE them love you." replace google with MS, and google+ with copilot]
 Now, microsoft will make you love Copilot. 
 Remember how they tripped over their own dick right out of the gate by starting at step 1 with a feature that automatically screenshots your credit card details and passwords? 
 [next line: with an undercurrent of damage. in a "laugh so you don't cry" kind of way]
 hah, good times.
-Recently they're preparing to roll it out again, this time assuring us it's opt-in-only. Given their track record of accidentally forgetting that a user didn't opt in, I don't think anyone's going to be surprised when that happens again.
+Recently they're preparing to roll it out again, this time assuring us it's opt-in-only. Given their track record of "accidentally" forgetting that a user didn't opt in, I don't think anyone's going to be surprised when that happens again.
 
 ### Ulla is a token hire
 
@@ -105,7 +102,7 @@ openweathermap.org has a chatbot.
 [annoyed. Push more air from the diaphragm, a bit louder, but not shouting quite yet]
 FUCKING... WHY? 
 [again at the more annoyed tone, volume back down]
-so that I can look past the weather forecast to ask it to tell me?
+so that I can look past the weather forecast to ask it to tell me? If anyone wants to have a conversation, it's with a person. And the reason to talk to a person rather than use your technology is that your technology doesn't work; the answer to that problem is not more, newer, less working technology!
 [reset tone. Open minded:]
 ...let's try it.
 [ulla] "i don't provide the weather, only help with the documentation"
@@ -130,7 +127,7 @@ question: how do you automate your phone? if you try and do some research online
 So there is almost *no* concept of "automating a phone".
 And therefore you'll have to pull up DAVx and hit refresh, manually.
 [footage of FDroid]
-You're begrudgingly allowed to install apps without google's blessing through 3rd party app stores,
+You're begrudgingly allowed to install apps without google's or apple's blessing through 3rd party app stores,
 ["may not" - HL2 cop shoving you away from the computer]
 [//TODO: footage of update from fdroid]
 but you may not automatically update them.
@@ -143,28 +140,16 @@ Everyone hates ads. Everyone hates pop-up ads **much** more, because they pop-up
 So in the extremely rare event that a person actually googles something, and the even more rare event that they find a good result, they might read the web page.
 imagine the *audacity* it takes to *stop them from reading* to ask them to sign up for a newsletter. You know, in case they like this experience so much they want to come back for more of it. Your function is to be read, putting junk in the way of the text is the opposite of that.
 
-### F.A.B.'s are S.O.B.'s
-
-[volume rising, "O, Fortuna"]
-The worst UX antipattern emerged a while ago.
-[layer diagram. bottom up: software, what you're doing, your attention]
-It picks a permitted subset of functionality, moves it away from anywhere it could interoperate with other systems, entitles itself to priority over what you're trying to look at, so it can be in front of your eyeballs. 
-It's everything people hate about popup ads, but so commonly done that it gets enshrined in UI libraries. The pinnacle of getting in the way. 
-the Floating. Action. Button.
-[O, Fortuna reaches crescendo and full volume]
-[//TODO: footage of youtube mobile's "play something" FAB]
-[O, Fortuna subtle fade-out]
-it's a software screen notch.
-
 ### interoperability
 
 The digital markets act of 2022 in the EU granted advertising corporations the right to view the data they've generated, the right to take their data to other platforms. In other words, big tech gatekeepers don't get to lay claim to advertisers and treat them like property. It demonstrates we all know interoperability is great and enclosure is bad, 
 [maude flanders] won't somebody please think of the shareholders!
-but because first and foremost it's about the shareholders, people don't get the same. 
-However, when making a useful tool, interoperability is the most important thing. Before praising AI, before praising the iPhone, society loved that the internet connected everyone together. We had a futurist optimism that ideas and communication could flow, making the world a better place and building Great Things.
+but only shareholders, people don't get the same. 
+When making a useful tool, interoperability is the most important thing. Before praising AI, before praising the iPhone, society loved that the internet connected everyone together. We had a futurist optimism that ideas and communication could flow, making the world a better place and building Great Things.
 That didn't happen, though. 
 Now when you try to get two technologies to work together, they do what they can to inhibit you.
 GMail does not like when you try to use a different mail client - perhaps one with a working spam filter.
+[//TODO: find source]
 Cars used to be forced to use a standard headlight - but naturally that was lobbied to death.
 
 ## Be Transparent
@@ -180,36 +165,29 @@ Software should have observability for itself during development, and you might
 
 ### debugging
 
-Clearly something is wrong with my DAVx. What, though? fuck knows.
-[note] Yes, I have exempted it from battery optimization.
 Apple says phones "just work", so the world keeps the faith. When something doesn't work, if there are logs, good luck finding them. On a real computer, if the whole thing is completely fucked, you can reformat and start from scratch. If your emacs configuration is out of control, you can do the same - "declare emacs bankruptcy". 
-[programmers are also human, interview with emacs user] something to the effect of "i just work on my config"
 [next line: https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2017/dec/29/apple-apologises-for-slowing-older-iphones-battery-performance]
 But if your phone appears to be haunted?
-["may not" - HL2 cop shoving you away from the computer]
 [next line: footage of latest iPhone pricing]
 Shrug, throw it in the trash and buy a new one.
 
-Surprisingly, there's an example of this getting better: vehicles!
-for years, a "check engine" light meant "take it into the dealer and just pay whatever they demand". But nowadays, you can buy a decoder for that signal relatively affordably, and actually see what the error code is - possibly even fix the problem yourself!
-[note] Unfortuantely, cars are jumping straight from an arcane set of mysterious glyphs to a screen that shows ads, but that's another rant.
+let's not retread what apple hath wrought against the right to repair.
 
 ### security theater
 
-Security theater has a lot of overlap with other problems. Most often, quote-unquote security is the excuse for user-hostility - 
-"it's for *your* security. We're trying to protect you! It's not for our profit, of course..."
+Security theater has a lot of overlap with other problems. Most often, lying about security is the excuse for user-hostility - 
+[on screen] "it's for *your* security. We're trying to protect you! It's not for our profit, of course..."
 
 Surely I don't have to remind you that flying is a nightmare, almost entirely for 1 reason: the TSA, which is undeniably, *purely* security theater
 [glitch effect interrupt]
 [https://www.forbes.com/sites/michaelgoldstein/2017/11/09/tsa-misses-70-of-fake-weapons-but-thats-an-improvement/#a106f082a38d]
-Meanwhile in the US, for all the effort they put into telling you that the petty ritual of dominance they're enact on you is for your protection, they miss 70% of test weapons.
+Meanwhile in the US, for all the effort they put into telling you that the petty ritual of dominance they're enacting on you is for your protection, they miss 70% of test weapons.
 [glitch effect interrupt]
 [https://time.com/archive/6913061/airport-screeners-dress-for-respect/]
 ..hey, remember in 2008 when the TSA felt they weren't getting the respect the entitled themselves to, so they switched their uniforms to look exactly like police officers?
 [glitch effect interrupt]
 ok, TSA tangent over, back to nerd shit.
-Websites are afraid of DDoS attacks. A web server is a fallible thing that can only deliver so much. But that isn't why a disgusting number of websites block VPNs.
-Here's some ideologues, who theoretically *want* to propagate their ideas into as many minds, maybe even neural networks, as possible? Mysterious connection timeout.
+Websites are afraid of DDoS attacks. A web server is a fallible thing that can only deliver so much. But that isn't why a disgusting number of websites block VPNs - as evidenced by the fact that they give you a professionally styled frontend webpage saying they'll let you read if you sign in.
 
 ## paradigmatic conformity
 
@@ -240,7 +218,7 @@ Why can't you move the taskbar in windows 11? so that it can look like OSX. What
 When apple speaks, the rest of the world obeys. so customization options are viewed as less and less important.
 not to mention, if you're stopped from customization, for example modding in some armor for your horse... now it's something that can be sold to you instead.
 [show: horse armor from Oblivion]
-Companies love to dumb everything down, and in response to criticism, blame it on a hypothetical group of lowest-common-denominator people. But the whole premise that customization is unimportant is bad. 
+Companies love to dumb everything down, and in response to criticism, blame it on a hypothetical group of lowest-common-denominator people. This way you're not presented with the ability to customize, it's moved behind a paywall. But the whole premise that customization is inessential is wrong.
 Normal is not a valid target. Just ask the air force.
 [https://medium.com/continuousdelivery/no-one-size-fits-all-d7ad0a8cbe7b -> https://www.thestar.com/news/insight/when-u-s-air-force-discovered-the-flaw-of-averages/article_e3231734-e5da-5bf5-9496-a34e52d60bd9.html] the quote is very long
 
@@ -250,6 +228,17 @@ Normal is not a valid target. Just ask the air force.
 
 and finally, a short list of features that you know goddamn well no one wants.
 no one wants to sign up for your newsletter - you aren't interesting enough to fill one out. Just get the stupid notification out of the way.
-no one wants to chat with your chatbot - if anyone wants to have a conversation, it's with a person, because your technology doesn't work. Get the notification out of the way.
 scrolling is not an ℯ𝓍𝓅ℯ𝓇𝒾ℯ𝓃𝒸ℯ, every vehicle website ever.
 If you want to "customize my experience" before I'm allowed to have one, the answer to all of your questions is "whatever gets you to go fuck yourself".
+
+[volume rising, "O, Fortuna"]
+The worst UX antipattern emerged a while ago.
+[layer diagram. bottom up: software, what you're doing, your attention]
+It picks a permitted subset of functionality, moves it away from anywhere it could interoperate with other systems, entitles itself to priority over what you're trying to look at, so it can be in front of your eyeballs. 
+It's everything people hate about popup ads, but so commonly done that it gets enshrined in UI libraries. 
+the Floating. Action. Button.
+[O, Fortuna reaches crescendo and full volume]
+[//TODO: footage of youtube mobile's "play something" FAB]
+[O, Fortuna subtle fade-out]
+it's a software screen notch.
+The pinnacle of getting in the way.