diff --git a/script artifacts/script.md b/script artifacts/script.md index 1479b62..1ce4a81 100644 --- a/script artifacts/script.md +++ b/script artifacts/script.md @@ -1,32 +1,59 @@ -Don't worry, only the first 99% of this video is grumbling and complaining. +# ux manifesto -[title drop] +[ted talk stage] +Let me share with you my UX design manifesto. +ready? Are you all prepared to take notes? +**Get out of the user's fucking way.** +Thank you for attending my ted talk. -## keyboard +There is, or could be, technology that exists to be a means to an end. Instead, software in Current Year is entirely an exercise in being a new obstacle. +## windows + +[//TODO: screenshots, or mockup, or cut this paragraph] +You know what finally tipped me over the edge to give up on windows, even if that meant PC gaming went with it? +I was playing warframe, and then windows 10 popped up a full screen ad - on a monitor I couldn't see at the time - that told me "you said you'd sign up for a trial of our cloud bullshit now." I couldn't figure out why the game had ostensibly frozen until I walked around my apartment to sit back at my desk and read this ad, and as ever communicate one of the microsoft-sanctioned responses of "yes I would love to right now" or "yes I would love to but not right now". +No flavor of linux has ever pulled a stunt like that. + +there's a joke about how microsoft shoved windows 11 (and also 10) down everyone's throats, then popped up a window in their way to ask if they would recommend windows to a friend? the joke for socially well-adjusted normal people is: "I need you to understand that people don't recommend each other operating systems." That applies, for them. But for nerds who are currently staring at several screens running several different flavors of linux... People do. But the people who do understand how terrible windows 11 is, and how it's only getting worse. +[note] Speaking of, don't worry, I don't have plans to evangelize for my favorite operating system. Presently. + +## phones + +as bad as desktop interfaces are, phones are the worst. 100% of interactions with phones are miserable and infuriating. And I don't mean interactions with people on social media, I mean the hardware and the apps. +[some on screen reference to What Apple Hath Wrought] +But let's not retread who and why, let's focus on the what. + +### keyboard + +Keyboards. typing on a phone, need I say more? -other: "keyboards are obsolete, just talk." +[other] "keyboards are obsolete, just talk." -that's stupid. Spell this regex: `/bb|[^b]{2}/`. +that's stupid. Spell this regex: -other: "regexes considered harmful." +[on screen] `/bb|[^b]{2}/`. -duck off you trend-fixated piece or spit. You may want to throw away superior tools in favor of fresh ones, but I don't want to spend $1000 on a toy that does nothing more than signal the correct brand loyalty. +[other] "regexes considered harmful." -## GPS +duck off you trend-fixated piece or spit. You may want to throw away superior tools in favor of fresh ones, but no one should spend $1000 on a toy that does nothing more than signal the correct brand loyalty. +### GPS + +GPS. you know why people put up with google's tracking? because for as much dumb bullshit as waze is laden with, for as wrong as apple is, and for as much as google maps is a thinly veiled excuse for google to catalog your gps position down to the meter and second... those 3 are the only apps that offer driving directions and understand the concept of a road. +[Osmand+ doing its thing] -## notifications +### notifications the vast majority of apps do not need to give notifications. Honestly the vast majority of mobile apps don't need to exist at all, but I can only argue that case-by-case. -## automation +### automation question: how do you automate your phone? if you try and do some research online, both sides of the walled gardens have a *plethora* of stupid ways to decrease your productivity of automating *other* stuff *from* your phone. But since your phone is the nexus of your security and identity, you can't let anything go poking around in it. And therefore you'll have to pull up DAVx and hit refresh, manually, several times a day. You're begrudgingly allowed to install apps without google's blessing through 3rd party app stores, but you may not automatically update them. -## files +### files there's a joke that millenials (and gen-z-ers) have to teach boomers what a file beyond a word doc is. But I point out those 2 groups because apple-loyalty is most rampant among them - I dare you to try this exercise. Bring up your preferred communications-with-strangers app (e.g., X). [xkcd about how apps tell you about their updates] Dismiss the patch notes. Find an image you'd like to interact with later. Maybe you want to draw on it. maybe you just want to send it as is. Download it. @@ -38,7 +65,7 @@ Don't worry, there's a million billion music player apps. The only problem is th You know what *would* be great? if you could download an audio codec on the play store. -## web +### web you know why people put up with google dictating your experience to maximize your diet of ads? because here's the alternative. Firefox on the desktop is the last web browser that was a Great Thing. largely, for the most part, they're trying to preserve at least part of that. @@ -46,21 +73,13 @@ Firefox on mobile is absolutely not making any such attempt. It does what all t # fix -[ted talk stage] -Let me share with you my UX design manifesto. -ready? Are you all prepared to take notes? -**Get out of the user's fucking way.** -Thank you for attending my ted talk. -There was a through-line in all that complaining up there: There is, or could be, technology that exists to be a means to an end. Instead, mobile development in Current Year is entirely an exercise in being a new obstacle. +You know that -You know that joke about how microsoft shoved windows 11 (and also 10) down everyone's throats, then popped up a window in their way to ask if they would recommend windows to a friend? the joke for socially well-adjusted normal people is: "I need you to understand that people don't recommend each other operating systems." That applies, for them. But for nerds who are currently staring at several screens running several different flavors of linux... People do. But the people who do understand how terrible windows 11 is, and how it's only getting worse. (Speaking of, stay tuned for a video recommending you try out ubuntu or something). -You know what finally tipped me over the edge to give up on windows, even if that meant PC gaming went with it? -I was playing warframe, and then windows 10 popped up a full screen ad - on a monitor I couldn't see at the time - that told me "you said you'd sign up for a trial of our cloud bullshit now." I couldn't figure out why the game had ostensibly frozen until I walked around my apartment to sit back at my desk and read this ad, and as ever communicate one of the microsoft-sanctioned responses of "yes I would love to right now" or "yes I would love to but not right now". -No flavor of linux has ever pulled a stunt like that. -I bring that up to demonstrate: no one likes ads. Obviously. Most of everything doesn't even work. Ads are less effective in the modern era. [//TODO: fact-check - I'm pretty sure I heard they're decreasing in effectiveness? if I'm wrong, it's still safe to say everyone hates ads.] +I bring that up to demonstrate: no one likes ads. Obviously. Most of everything doesn't even work. Ads are less effective in the modern era. +[//TODO: fact-check - I'm pretty sure I heard they're decreasing in effectiveness? if I'm wrong, it's still safe to say everyone hates ads.] because no one likes ads, if you're a professional Marketer, you market *yourself* on the grounds that you can make a stronger impression. Which means making your ads more intrusive. Everyone hates ads. Everyone hates pop-up ads **much** more, because they pop-up. No one has ever googled something, read a random blog's page, and signed up for its newsletter.