script draft

script artifacts/script.md

@@ -15,9 +15,9 @@ You know what finally tipped me over the edge to give up on windows, even if tha
 I was playing warframe, and then windows 10 popped up a full screen ad - on a monitor I couldn't see at the time - that told me "you said you'd sign up for a trial of our cloud bullshit now." I couldn't figure out why the game had ostensibly frozen until I walked around my apartment to sit back at my desk and read this ad, and as ever communicate one of the microsoft-sanctioned responses of "yes I would love to right now" or "yes I would love to but not right now".
 No flavor of linux has ever pulled a stunt like that. 
 
+[//TODO: find this meme.]
 there's a joke about how microsoft shoved windows 11 (and also 10) down everyone's throats, then popped up a window in their way to ask if they would recommend windows to a friend? the joke for socially well-adjusted, normal people is: "I need you to understand that people don't recommend each other operating systems." That applies, for them. But for nerds who are currently staring at several screens running several different flavors of linux... People do. But the people who do... understand how terrible windows is, and the myriad of ways it's only getting worse. 
 [note] Speaking of, don't worry, I don't (presently) have plans to evangelize for my favorite operating system.
-One wonders if this is some kind of bet between an engineer and his delusional project manager.
 
 ### obligatory mention of AI
 
@@ -47,13 +47,20 @@ FUCKING... WHY? so that I can look past the weather forecast and ask it to tell
 THE PERFUNCTORY CHATBOT ON THE WEATHER SITE DOESN'T EVEN TELL YOU THE GOD. DAMNED. WEATHER.
 [filthy frank] It's time to stop!
 
+## keyboards
+
+[get flashbanged by laptop]
+[//TODO: example of device manual *advertising* fn key]
+[//TODO: footage of the dark blue label in the dark problem]
+my laptop, much like every single other laptop I have ever seen within the last 15 years, is the least-bad design I could find. Laptop keyboards are universally moronic. looking at mine, the place where too many years of muscle memory have trained me to hit the ctrl key, there’s an "fn" key instead, and the ctrl key is moved over to where the windows key is. fn + s is screenshot. apparently, if you design a laptop keyboard, a prerequisite is some kind of brain damage that makes you think people want all kinds of bullshit instead of the keys on a keyboard. often, device manuals *advertise* that the f-keys don’t do the f-key function. Fortunately, mine was able to be set once to let the keys do what they’re supposed to. However, on my black keyboard illuminated by my mostly black screen with a couple of points of extremely bright LEDs, I can see the unnecessary functions' white labels, and the actual f key labels have a dark blue one. I get the impression including the real labels was a begrudging concession. 
+
 ## phones
 
-as bad as desktop interfaces are, phones are the worst. 100% of interactions with phones are miserable and infuriating. And I don't mean interactions with people on social media, I mean the hardware and the apps. 
+as bad as desktop interfaces are, phones are the worst. 100% of interactions with phones are miserable and infuriating. And that's before thinking about interactions with people on social media, I mean the hardware and the apps. 
 [some on screen reference to What Apple Hath Wrought]
 But let's not retread who and why, let's focus on the what it is about phones that makes you wish for a real computer.
 
-### keyboard
+### keyboards 2: iMissButtons
 
 typing on a phone, need I say more?
 
@@ -72,9 +79,6 @@ I think you mean chatGPT is bad at regexes. If you apply some effort to understa
 [other] duck off
 [other] you piece or spit
 
-[get flashbanged by laptop]
-but don't worry, it's not just phones. my laptop, much like every single other laptop I have ever seen within the last 15 years, is the least-bad design I could find. Laptop keyboards are universally moronic. looking at mine, the place where too many years of muscle memory have trained me to hit the ctrl key, there’s an "fn" key instead, and the ctrl key is moved over to where the windows key is. fn + s is screenshot. apparently, if you design a laptop keyboard, a prerequisite is some kind of brain damage that makes you think people want all kinds bullshit instead of the keys on a keyboard. often, device manuals *advertise* that the f-keys don’t do the f-key function. Fortunately, mine was able to be set once to let the keys do what they’re supposed to. However, on my black keyboard illuminated by my mostly black screen with a couple of points of extremely bright LEDs, I can see the unnecessary functions' white labels, and the actual f key labels have a dark blue one. I get the impression including the real labels was a begrudging concession. 
-
 ### GPS
 
 GPS.
@@ -84,7 +88,7 @@ you know why people put up with google's tracking? because for as much dumb bull
 ### notifications
 
 the vast majority of apps do not need to give notifications. Honestly the vast majority of mobile apps don't need to exist at all, but I can only argue that case-by-case.
-//TODO: examples. obviously I get rid of apps that pull this shit, stat.
+[//TODO: examples. obviously I get rid of apps that pull this shit, stat.]
 
 ### automation
 
@@ -112,7 +116,7 @@ Throw it in the trash and buy a new one.
 
 ### files
 
-there's a joke that millenials (and gen-z-ers) have to teach boomers how to open a PDF. But apple-loyalty is most rampant among them - I dare you to try this exercise.  Bring up your preferred communications-with-strangers app (e.g., X). 
+there's a joke that millenials (and gen-z-ers) have to teach boomers how to open a PDF. But apple-loyalty is most rampant among these generations - I dare you to try this exercise.  Bring up your preferred communications-with-strangers app (e.g., X). 
 [xkcd about how apps tell you about their updates]
 Dismiss the patch notes. Find an image you'd like to interact with later. Maybe you want to draw on it. maybe you just want to send it as is. Download it. where is it?
 
@@ -123,18 +127,21 @@ In exchange for the twin downsides of "virtually every app is pointless" and "a
 
 Ogg Vorbis *continues* to be superior to mp3. More fidelity. More efficient compression. But apple says mp3 is fine, so, rest in peace OGG. 
 [now: gravestone for OGG]
-you were the OG.
+you were the O.G.
 ...G.
 Don't worry, there's a million billion music player apps for mobile. The only problem is that none of them matter. You know what *would* be great? if you could download an audio codec on the play store, and whatever music player app you like could use it. 
 [next line: pronounce "modern" with nausea]
 But that would require apps to work on the old paradigm - where they read and write files, and interact with each other. The modern strategy is not to let the user control their files. that way when the platform owner decides they want to sell your data, they already got it from you.
 
-### web
+### web browsers
 
 you know why people put up with google dictating your experience to maximize your diet of ads? because here's the alternative.
-Firefox on the desktop is the last web browser that was a Great Thing. largely, for the most part, they're trying to preserve at least some of that.
+[//TODO: the article where they got caught in a pr]
+Firefox on the desktop is the last web browser that was a Great Thing. Up until recently, they were trying to preserve at least some of that.
+[note] Given recent events though, RIP firefox. librewolf is my new best friend.
+[//TODO: replicate]
 Firefox on mobile is absolutely not making any such attempt.  It does what all the other mobile apps are doing: once a day it abuses its notification privileges to advertise to you; "hey come back and run the app again". It frequently updates its UI (to feed its progress addiction), it collects user data. Worst of all, they *had* and then **removed** plugin support. If an adblocker is necessary to browse the web, it's even more necessary to browse the web on mobile. We should all think less of the mozilla foundation for the 2020 change. 
-[there was drama on the internet about the change they made, show some of that]
+[//TODO: there was drama on the internet about the change they made, show some of that]
 (fortunately they were sufficiently pressured to walk back their mistake.)
 [I think in 2023 they said "ff mobile is getting plugin support". it might be google's antisolution version?]
 
@@ -147,7 +154,7 @@ It picks a permitted subset of functionality, moves it away from anywhere it cou
 It's everything people hate about popup ads, but so commonly done that it gets enshrined in UI libraries. The pinnacle of getting in the way. 
 the Floating. Action. Button.
 [O, Fortuna reaches crescendo and full volume]
-[footage of youtube mobile's "play something" FAB]
+[//TODO: footage of youtube mobile's "play something" FAB]
 [O, Fortuna subtle fade-out]
 it's a software screen notch.
 
@@ -169,15 +176,16 @@ take for example, Discord. They've given themselves loads of work to produce fea
 
 Notice how every search company realizes that every website is overladen with trash, so they offer an "ai summary". If the accuracy ever gets good (it won't), that would be a great way to pull information out of a website without being told to sign in with google so that I can waive my privacy protections for their absolutely unnecessary cookies to then decline to sign up for their newsletter and then tell their chatbot to go find somewhere else to be useless.
 
+[//TODO: find the actual dictionary definition, then cite that]
 The entire world of technology is mislabeled. the definition of technology is about applying knowledge to achieve practical goals. It's far more profitable to hide the fact that your only actual goal is extracting value from the people who ostensibly should be your customers. 
-That's why the only practical goal to achieve at the moment is adversarial APIs. We don't need yet another skin on your phone's built in music player, we need the ability for your phone to install new audio codecs. we don't need yet another social network to give our images to, we need to be allowed to use FTP.
+That's why the only practical goal to achieve at the moment is adversarial APIs. We don't need yet another skin on your phone's built in music player, we need the possibility for your phone to install new audio codecs and an ecosystem of it.
 
 ## how to do better
 
 Accursed Farms has inspiration on how to build better UIs.
 [Accursed Farms https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AItTqnTsVjA something about "imagine a butler"]
 
-let's learn the lesson that clippy's project managers didn't: we already anthropomorphize our technology, computers don't need to pretend to be human. But to make the language easier, let's still compare your computer to a human assistant. The Alfred to our Batman, as it were.
+let's learn the lesson that clippy's project managers didn't: we already anthropomorphize our technology, computers don't need to pretend to be human. But to make the language easier, let's still compare your computer to a human assistant. The Igor to our Frankenstein, as it were.
 how would we change our bad assistant into a good one?
 
 [we're going to compose a list of rules. as we say them, compose a graphic, with a serif font.]
@@ -187,7 +195,7 @@ how would we change our bad assistant into a good one?
 ai investors might tell us that an assistant that can make use of autonomy is better than one that can't. In a vacuum, that's true. But no chatbot is useful, yet. What we have instead, is an "ai" that insists on being in charge of tasks that it isn't capable of. 
 [//TODO: primeagen talked about neetcoder having a great take]
 A recurring problem is that as a user, i haven't gained functionality, but I have lost options. Given a human assistant, I would expect it to be able to admit when it isn't capable of something. (that might also be asking too much, but let's stick to technology.) Taking the initiative doesn't count if you screw up.
-Imagine you had a coworker, and when you try to do something, it gets in your way and does it (badly). now you have to spend twice as long because you also have to clean up after your predecesor. 
+Imagine you had a coworker, and when you try to do something, he gets in your way and does it (badly). now you have to spend twice as long because you also have to clean up after your predecessor.
 
 [add to rules list]
 Limit your autonomy to tasks you can handle.
@@ -195,7 +203,9 @@ Limit your autonomy to tasks you can handle.
 
 ### transparency
 
-Above, I complained about DAVx failing mysteriously. I complained about how a file is downloaded to some mysterious location. Hidden information is bad. You should have observability for yourself during development, and you might as well provide that same observability to your users while you're at it.
+Above, I complained about DAVx failing mysteriously. I complained about how a file is downloaded to some mysterious location. Hidden information is bad. 
+[//TODO: observability visualizations]
+You should have observability for yourself during development, and you might as well provide that same observability to your users while you're at it.
 
 [add to rules list]
 Be transparent.
@@ -207,7 +217,7 @@ There's a comment on that accursed farms video from before...
 Why can't you move the taskbar in windows 11? because now it looks like OSX. What is the only rationalization that apple investors have been giving for apple's success? That apple has good taste in interface design. Apple insists that their UX is good because of the decisions they've made for it.
 [steve jobs] we're trying to make great products for people!
 And when apple says something dumb, the rest of the technology world agrees. so customization options are viewed as less and less important.
-not to mention, if you're stopped from modding in some armor for your horse, now it's something that can be sold to you instead.
+not to mention, if you're stopped from customization, for example modding in some armor for your horse... now it's something that can be sold to you instead.
 [show: horse armor from Oblivion]
 Companies love to dumb everything down, and in response to criticism, blame it on a hypothetical group of lowest-common-denominator people. But the whole premise that customization is unimportant is bad. Just ask the air force.
 [https://medium.com/continuousdelivery/no-one-size-fits-all-d7ad0a8cbe7b -> https://www.thestar.com/news/insight/when-u-s-air-force-discovered-the-flaw-of-averages/article_e3231734-e5da-5bf5-9496-a34e52d60bd9.html] the quote is very long
@@ -218,7 +228,7 @@ when the user tries to customize, let them.
 ### interoperability
 
 The digital markets act of 2022 in the EU granted advertising corporations with the right to view the data they've generated, the right to take their data to other platforms. In other words, big tech gatekeepers don't get to lay claim to advertisers and treat them like property. It demonstrates we all know interoperability is great and enclosure is bad, but because first and foremost we all have to sacrifice for the shareholders, people don't get the same. 
-However, when making a useful tool, interoperability is the most important thing. Before praising AI, before praising the iPhone, society loved that the internet connected everyone together. We had a futurist optimism that ideas and communication could flow, making the world a better place and building great things.
+However, when making a useful tool, interoperability is the most important thing. Before praising AI, before praising the iPhone, society loved that the internet connected everyone together. We had a futurist optimism that ideas and communication could flow, making the world a better place and building Great Things.
 That didn't happen, though. 
 Now when you try to migrate between technologies, they do what they can to inhibit you.
 
@@ -229,8 +239,9 @@ don't enclose the commons.
 
 You know how a save icon is a floppy disk? A type of storage media so old, I bet if you're listening to this you physically can't use it. But the association has stuck.
 You know how on mobile, the menu of all your options is probably 3 parallel, horizontal lines, a.k.a. the hamburger menu? another association that everyone just went with.
+In life, this extends much further. Red light means stop, green light means go. 
 [show a screen with a delete button in red, and a screen with a submit button in green]
-In life, this extends much further. Red light means stop, green light means go. So when you have an action that could be destructive, you color-code it red, and when something is constructive, you color-code it green.
+So when you have an action that could be destructive, you color-code it red, and when something is constructive, you color-code it green.
 These associations are abritrary. But since they're there, we keep them.
 Can you touch type? imagine I presented you with a blank keyboard. You'd still be able to type, due to a lifetime of training.
 Suppose you came across a binder full of papers, and only one of them had a border that was diagonal lines of alternating yellow and black. I can safely assume that you would get the impression that one sheet is providing you cautionary information.
@@ -249,3 +260,6 @@ conform to known paradigms.
 and finally, a short list of features that you know goddamn well no one wants.
 no one wants to sign up for your newsletter - you aren't interesting enough to fill one out. Just get the stupid notification out of the way.
 no one wants to chat with your chatbot - if anyone wants to have a conversation, it's with a person, because your technology doesn't work. Get the notification out of the way.
+scrolling is not an ℯ𝓍𝓅ℯ𝓇𝒾ℯ𝓃𝒸ℯ, every vehicle website ever.
+If you want to "customize my experience" before I'm allowed to have one, the answer to all of your questions is "whatever gets you to go fuck yourself".
+