From 2f1331fc9e01dcca3e664ec2dbddf587439a2a23 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: keeno Date: Mon, 26 May 2025 13:40:26 -0400 Subject: [PATCH] srt --- script artifacts/ux manifesto.srt | 1703 +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ 1 file changed, 1703 insertions(+) create mode 100644 script artifacts/ux manifesto.srt diff --git a/script artifacts/ux manifesto.srt b/script artifacts/ux manifesto.srt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d10504d --- /dev/null +++ b/script artifacts/ux manifesto.srt @@ -0,0 +1,1703 @@ +1 +00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,850 +100% of interactions with phones are miserable + +2 +00:00:02,850 --> 00:00:03,850 +and infuriating. + +3 +00:00:04,216 --> 00:00:05,766 +And I don't mean other people on social + +4 +00:00:05,766 --> 00:00:08,150 +media, I mean smartphones themselves. + +5 +00:00:08,350 --> 00:00:10,433 +Let me share with you my UX Design + +6 +00:00:10,433 --> 00:00:11,166 +Manifesto. + +7 +00:00:11,650 --> 00:00:12,250 +Ready? + +8 +00:00:12,250 --> 00:00:13,950 +Are you all prepared to take notes? + +9 +00:00:14,583 --> 00:00:17,233 +Get out of the user's fucking way! + +10 +00:00:17,566 --> 00:00:20,150 +Thank you for attending my TED Talk, video over. + +11 +00:00:22,633 --> 00:00:24,483 +No, alright, I'll elaborate. + +12 +00:00:24,600 --> 00:00:27,050 +There is, or could be, technology that exists + +13 +00:00:27,050 --> 00:00:28,416 +to be a means to an end. + +14 +00:00:28,416 --> 00:00:30,450 +Instead, software in CurrentYear + +15 +00:00:30,450 --> 00:00:33,200 +is entirely an exercise and being an obstacle. + +16 +00:00:33,716 --> 00:00:35,400 +I'll break it down to some rules. + +17 +00:00:35,400 --> 00:00:37,600 +Software is a means to an end. + +18 +00:00:37,750 --> 00:00:41,800 +But app developers think they're crafting an experience. + +19 +00:00:41,950 --> 00:00:44,600 +They want to increase the time spent in an app. + +20 +00:00:44,816 --> 00:00:47,666 +I assume this is favorable for ad revenue metrics. + +21 +00:00:47,966 --> 00:00:49,833 +For those of us who actually do things, + +22 +00:00:49,833 --> 00:00:50,866 +an app is a tool. + +23 +00:00:51,050 --> 00:00:53,216 +And a tool is better when it decreases + +24 +00:00:53,216 --> 00:00:55,116 +the time it takes to get shit done. + +25 +00:00:55,516 --> 00:00:56,966 +Take, for example, Discord. + +26 +00:00:56,966 --> 00:00:59,016 +They've given themselves loads of work to produce + +27 +00:00:59,016 --> 00:01:01,516 +features to justify asking you for money. + +28 +00:01:01,966 --> 00:01:04,050 +Meanwhile, it only exists in the first place + +29 +00:01:04,050 --> 00:01:06,200 +because Skype was bloated full of junk. + +30 +00:01:06,416 --> 00:01:08,816 +All the extra stuff makes the app slower. + +31 +00:01:09,050 --> 00:01:09,533 +I get it. + +32 +00:01:09,766 --> 00:01:12,200 +Groceries and servers are expensive. + +33 +00:01:12,400 --> 00:01:15,166 +Nevertheless, their addiction to progress is harming their + +34 +00:01:15,166 --> 00:01:15,766 +product. + +35 +00:01:16,283 --> 00:01:19,316 +The entire world of technology is mislabeled. + +36 +00:01:19,433 --> 00:01:22,066 +The definition of technology is about applying knowledge + +37 +00:01:22,066 --> 00:01:23,883 +to achieve practical goals. + +38 +00:01:23,883 --> 00:01:26,250 +It's far more profitable to hide the fact + +39 +00:01:26,250 --> 00:01:29,050 +that your only actual goal is extracting value + +40 +00:01:29,050 --> 00:01:31,150 +from the people who ostensibly should be your + +41 +00:01:31,150 --> 00:01:31,966 +customers. + +42 +00:01:32,250 --> 00:01:34,300 +That's why the only practical goal to achieve + +43 +00:01:34,300 --> 00:01:36,833 +at the moment is adversarial APIs. + +44 +00:01:37,000 --> 00:01:38,600 +We don't need yet another skin on your + +45 +00:01:38,600 --> 00:01:40,300 +phone's built-in music player. + +46 +00:01:40,400 --> 00:01:42,333 +We need the possibility for your phone to + +47 +00:01:42,333 --> 00:01:45,366 +install new audio codecs and an ecosystem of it. + +48 +00:01:45,666 --> 00:01:48,250 +Accursed Farms has inspiration on how to build + +49 +00:01:48,250 --> 00:01:49,533 +better UIs. + +50 +00:01:49,533 --> 00:01:51,333 +“It should be like a butler that's ready + +51 +00:01:51,333 --> 00:01:54,166 +at a moment's notice and disappears when you + +52 +00:01:54,166 --> 00:01:55,466 +don't need them anymore.” + +53 +00:01:57,333 --> 00:01:58,933 +“Yeah, like that.” + +54 +00:01:59,450 --> 00:02:00,250 +“Perfect.” + +55 +00:02:00,350 --> 00:02:02,050 +Let's learn the lesson that Clippy's + +56 +00:02:02,050 --> 00:02:03,400 +project managers didn't. + +57 +00:02:03,633 --> 00:02:06,316 +We already anthropomorphize our technology. + +58 +00:02:06,366 --> 00:02:08,366 +We should spend less effort having it pretend + +59 +00:02:08,366 --> 00:02:10,433 +to be our friend and more effort making + +60 +00:02:10,433 --> 00:02:11,150 +it useful. + +61 +00:02:12,500 --> 00:02:15,433 +Do what you can and know less. + +62 +00:02:15,916 --> 00:02:18,116 +This one is a well-known one from + +63 +00:02:18,116 --> 00:02:19,116 +our predecessors. + +64 +00:02:19,116 --> 00:02:21,416 +Greybeards from before even myself. + +65 +00:02:21,716 --> 00:02:23,350 +They said that the Linux way is to + +66 +00:02:23,350 --> 00:02:25,516 +do only one thing and do it well. + +67 +00:02:25,933 --> 00:02:29,233 +Or as the world's favorite libertarian would say, + +68 +00:02:29,700 --> 00:02:31,533 +Never half-ass two things. + +69 +00:02:32,283 --> 00:02:34,050 +Whole-ass one thing. + +70 +00:02:34,650 --> 00:02:36,400 +Example, GPS. + +71 +00:02:36,733 --> 00:02:38,550 +You know why people put up with Google's + +72 +00:02:38,550 --> 00:02:39,200 +tracking? + +73 +00:02:39,333 --> 00:02:41,833 +Because for as much dumb bullshit as Waze + +74 +00:02:41,833 --> 00:02:44,266 +is laden with, for as wrong as Apple + +75 +00:02:44,266 --> 00:02:46,350 +is, and for as much as Google Maps + +76 +00:02:46,350 --> 00:02:48,666 +is a thinly veiled excuse for Google to + +77 +00:02:48,666 --> 00:02:51,200 +catalog your GPS position down to the meter + +78 +00:02:51,200 --> 00:02:54,350 +and second, those three are the only apps that + +79 +00:02:54,350 --> 00:02:56,933 +offer driving directions and + +80 +00:02:56,933 --> 00:02:59,350 +understand the concept of a road. + +81 +00:02:59,350 --> 00:03:02,216 +Keep left onto exit 28 and toward + +82 +00:03:02,216 --> 00:03:05,916 +I-395 north, Providence then in 50 feet. + +83 +00:03:05,916 --> 00:03:06,733 +Keep right. + +84 +00:03:06,733 --> 00:03:09,316 +Keep right onto exit 28 and toward + +85 +00:03:09,316 --> 00:03:12,866 +I-395 north, Providence then in 50 feet. + +86 +00:03:12,966 --> 00:03:15,600 +Again, what is the function of a GPS app? + +87 +00:03:15,750 --> 00:03:17,350 +To tell you where you are and how + +88 +00:03:17,350 --> 00:03:18,250 +to get somewhere. + +89 +00:03:18,516 --> 00:03:20,433 +So the concept of a street map and + +90 +00:03:20,433 --> 00:03:23,300 +navigation app that doesn't understand the concept of + +91 +00:03:23,300 --> 00:03:26,233 +a street and therefore is effectively unable to + +92 +00:03:26,233 --> 00:03:27,950 +navigate it is absurd. + +93 +00:03:28,666 --> 00:03:31,416 +Do what you can and no more. + +94 +00:03:31,833 --> 00:03:33,933 +Again, focus on your function. + +95 +00:03:34,016 --> 00:03:35,516 +Whole-ass one thing. + +96 +00:03:36,233 --> 00:03:38,666 +Confucius said, To go beyond is as wrong + +97 +00:03:38,666 --> 00:03:40,100 +as to fall short. + +98 +00:03:40,100 --> 00:03:42,966 +Or if you prefer, Dr. Ian Malcolm said, + +99 +00:03:43,166 --> 00:03:45,000 +“Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or + +100 +00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:46,300 +not they could, they didn't stop to think + +101 +00:03:46,300 --> 00:03:46,850 +if they should.” + +102 +00:03:47,300 --> 00:03:48,300 +So ask. + +103 +00:03:48,666 --> 00:03:49,400 +Should you? + +104 +00:03:49,966 --> 00:03:52,650 +For example, keyboards on laptops. + +105 +00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:55,833 +My laptop, much like every single other laptop + +106 +00:03:55,833 --> 00:03:57,850 +I have ever seen within the last 15 + +107 +00:03:57,850 --> 00:04:00,166 +years, is the least bad design I could + +108 +00:04:00,166 --> 00:04:00,716 +find. + +109 +00:04:01,033 --> 00:04:03,833 +Laptop keyboards are universally moronic. + +110 +00:04:03,833 --> 00:04:05,916 +As a person who understands the concept of + +111 +00:04:05,916 --> 00:04:08,033 +a file, I habitually save often. + +112 +00:04:08,416 --> 00:04:10,700 +Looking at my keyboard, the place where many + +113 +00:04:10,700 --> 00:04:12,833 +years of muscle memory have trained me to + +114 +00:04:12,833 --> 00:04:15,450 +hit the control key, there's an Fn key + +115 +00:04:15,450 --> 00:04:17,616 +instead, and the control key is moved over + +116 +00:04:17,616 --> 00:04:19,633 +to where I expect the Windows key. + +117 +00:04:20,133 --> 00:04:21,950 +Function plus S is screenshot. + +118 +00:04:22,550 --> 00:04:25,116 +Cinnamon's screenshot app has a white flash effect, + +119 +00:04:25,366 --> 00:04:27,550 +so I flashbang myself often. + +120 +00:04:28,016 --> 00:04:30,466 +Apparently, if you design a laptop keyboard, a + +121 +00:04:30,466 --> 00:04:32,950 +prerequisite is some kind of brain damage that + +122 +00:04:32,950 --> 00:04:34,900 +makes you think people want all kinds of + +123 +00:04:34,900 --> 00:04:37,466 +bullshit instead of the keys on a keyboard. + +124 +00:04:37,916 --> 00:04:40,033 +Fortunately, mine was able to be set once + +125 +00:04:40,033 --> 00:04:41,550 +to let the keys do what they're supposed + +126 +00:04:41,550 --> 00:04:41,966 +to do. + +127 +00:04:42,450 --> 00:04:45,166 +However, on my black keyboard, illuminated by my + +128 +00:04:45,166 --> 00:04:47,366 +mostly black screen with a couple of points + +129 +00:04:47,366 --> 00:04:49,916 +of extremely bright LEDs, I can see the + +130 +00:04:49,916 --> 00:04:52,866 +unnecessary functions white labels, and the actual F + +131 +00:04:52,866 --> 00:04:54,616 +key labels have a dark blue one. + +132 +00:04:55,150 --> 00:04:58,600 +No one wants to chat with your AI. + +133 +00:04:59,016 --> 00:05:01,250 +The current state of the art of quote + +134 +00:05:01,250 --> 00:05:04,100 +-unquote AI manages to both not do what + +135 +00:05:04,100 --> 00:05:06,166 +it should do and do so much more + +136 +00:05:06,166 --> 00:05:07,783 +stuff rather than what it should. + +137 +00:05:08,116 --> 00:05:10,316 +But it's such a problem, it deserves to + +138 +00:05:10,316 --> 00:05:13,300 +be ranted about for a million and first time. + +139 +00:05:13,800 --> 00:05:16,400 +Microsoft being so large that they have so + +140 +00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:18,533 +much money that they taught us you're allowed + +141 +00:05:18,533 --> 00:05:21,300 +to just buy a nuclear power plant, + +142 +00:05:21,300 --> 00:05:23,866 +of course is sinking all of their money and + +143 +00:05:23,866 --> 00:05:25,916 +none of their brain power into the current + +144 +00:05:25,916 --> 00:05:27,366 +thing everyone hates. + +145 +00:05:28,033 --> 00:05:30,666 +“Have you heard the tale of Clippy?” + +146 +00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:34,333 +Way back, some cutting-edge psychological research was + +147 +00:05:34,333 --> 00:05:38,216 +done that demonstrated people anthropomorphize their computers and + +148 +00:05:38,216 --> 00:05:40,050 +hate them like they would hate a person. + +149 +00:05:40,333 --> 00:05:42,166 +“But then the great mistake was made, which + +150 +00:05:42,166 --> 00:05:44,633 +is, well, if people react to computers as + +151 +00:05:44,633 --> 00:05:46,066 +though they're people, we have to put the + +152 +00:05:46,066 --> 00:05:48,716 +faces of people on computers, which in my + +153 +00:05:48,716 --> 00:05:51,850 +opinion is exactly the incorrect reaction.” + +154 +00:05:52,416 --> 00:05:54,050 +“If people are going to react to computers + +155 +00:05:54,050 --> 00:05:55,666 +as though they're humans, the one thing you + +156 +00:05:55,666 --> 00:05:58,416 +don't have to do is anthropomorphize them + +157 +00:05:59,100 --> 00:06:02,233 +because they're already using that part of the brain.” + +158 +00:06:03,016 --> 00:06:03,933 +“Clippy... + +159 +00:06:05,266 --> 00:06:10,366 +was a program based on the research + +160 +00:06:10,366 --> 00:06:12,416 +that Nass and Reeves did and it was + +161 +00:06:12,416 --> 00:06:15,366 +a tragic misinterpretation of their work.” + +162 +00:06:15,783 --> 00:06:20,016 +So some cufflink-wearing motherfuckers said, great, people + +163 +00:06:20,016 --> 00:06:22,900 +will emotionally connect with their computer more favorably + +164 +00:06:22,900 --> 00:06:24,616 +if we anthropomorphize it. + +165 +00:06:25,166 --> 00:06:27,400 +Now you start up your word processor and + +166 +00:06:27,400 --> 00:06:28,866 +it jumps in the way to say hi + +167 +00:06:28,866 --> 00:06:30,566 +and chat about how it can interfere. + +168 +00:06:31,200 --> 00:06:33,383 +Fortunately, Clippy was killed off pretty quickly. + +169 +00:06:33,783 --> 00:06:35,566 +As long as people are projecting a personality + +170 +00:06:35,566 --> 00:06:38,450 +onto their computer, we hated Clippy as intensely + +171 +00:06:38,450 --> 00:06:40,083 +as we'd hate any other pest. + +172 +00:06:40,500 --> 00:06:42,100 +And of course, there are some people who + +173 +00:06:42,100 --> 00:06:43,033 +felt the opposite. + +174 +00:06:43,316 --> 00:06:44,583 +I'll leave a link in the show notes + +175 +00:06:44,583 --> 00:06:47,016 +to an erotic fan fiction starring Clippy that + +176 +00:06:47,016 --> 00:06:48,316 +you can actually buy. + +177 +00:06:48,833 --> 00:06:51,333 +Microsoft eventually came to their senses + +178 +00:06:51,333 --> 00:06:52,716 +and euthanized Clippy. + +179 +00:06:52,933 --> 00:06:55,000 +Then a few years later, they bought Halo. + +180 +00:06:55,250 --> 00:06:58,083 +Once that story concluded, some idiot at Microsoft + +181 +00:06:58,083 --> 00:07:00,350 +figured they could try again to make Clippy + +182 +00:07:00,350 --> 00:07:01,766 +happen as Cortana. + +183 +00:07:02,266 --> 00:07:03,316 +Years pass. + +184 +00:07:03,483 --> 00:07:05,816 +The most glorified Markov chain in the world + +185 +00:07:05,816 --> 00:07:07,000 +conquers society. + +186 +00:07:07,600 --> 00:07:08,600 +Cortana is dead. + +187 +00:07:09,250 --> 00:07:12,883 +Now Microsoft will make you love Copilot. + +188 +00:07:13,450 --> 00:07:15,816 +Remember how they tripped over their own dick + +189 +00:07:15,816 --> 00:07:17,500 +right out of the gate by starting at + +190 +00:07:17,500 --> 00:07:20,866 +step one with a feature that automatically screenshots + +191 +00:07:20,866 --> 00:07:23,066 +your credit card details and passwords? + +192 +00:07:23,066 --> 00:07:25,600 +Oh, good times. + +193 +00:07:26,466 --> 00:07:28,783 +Recently, they're preparing to roll it out again, + +194 +00:07:28,950 --> 00:07:31,183 +this time assuring us it's opt-in only. + +195 +00:07:31,650 --> 00:07:34,583 +Given their track record of accidentally forgetting that + +196 +00:07:34,583 --> 00:07:36,383 +a user didn't opt in, I don't think + +197 +00:07:36,383 --> 00:07:38,400 +anyone's going to be surprised when they forget + +198 +00:07:38,400 --> 00:07:38,866 +again. + +199 +00:07:39,666 --> 00:07:41,816 +Work with the user. + +200 +00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:44,750 +As opposed to against the user. + +201 +00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:47,316 +Honestly, it's amazing how much is out there + +202 +00:07:47,316 --> 00:07:50,450 +working against the user, but still has users. + +203 +00:07:50,450 --> 00:07:53,283 +The dominant social networks are all infamous for + +204 +00:07:53,283 --> 00:07:54,516 +messing with your timeline. + +205 +00:07:54,700 --> 00:07:56,550 +The timeline is their whole function. + +206 +00:07:56,983 --> 00:07:58,700 +But I've already complained about that. + +207 +00:07:58,983 --> 00:08:01,366 +question: how do you automate your phone? + +208 +00:08:01,366 --> 00:08:03,283 +If you try and do some research online, + +209 +00:08:03,366 --> 00:08:05,250 +both sides of the walled gardens have a + +210 +00:08:05,250 --> 00:08:08,483 +plethora of stupid ways to decrease your productivity + +211 +00:08:08,483 --> 00:08:12,050 +of automating other stuff from your phone. + +212 +00:08:12,400 --> 00:08:14,083 +But since your phone is the nexus of + +213 +00:08:14,083 --> 00:08:16,383 +your security and identity, you aren't allowed to + +214 +00:08:16,383 --> 00:08:18,316 +let anything go poking around in it. + +215 +00:08:18,750 --> 00:08:22,700 +So there is almost no concept of automating + +216 +00:08:22,700 --> 00:08:23,500 +a phone. + +217 +00:08:23,783 --> 00:08:26,000 +And therefore, you'll have to pull up Davx + +218 +00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:27,900 +and hit refresh manually. + +219 +00:08:28,316 --> 00:08:31,566 +You're begrudgingly allowed to install apps without Google's + +220 +00:08:31,566 --> 00:08:34,350 +or Apple's blessing through third-party app stores, + +221 +00:08:34,533 --> 00:08:38,050 +but you may not automatically update them. + +222 +00:08:38,533 --> 00:08:40,600 +Because no one likes ads, if you're a + +223 +00:08:40,600 --> 00:08:43,550 +professional marketer, you market yourself on the grounds + +224 +00:08:43,550 --> 00:08:45,866 +that you can make a stronger impression, which + +225 +00:08:45,866 --> 00:08:47,916 +means making your ads more intrusive. + +226 +00:08:48,100 --> 00:08:49,983 +Everyone hates ads. + +227 +00:08:50,066 --> 00:08:52,700 +Everyone hates pop-up ads much more because + +228 +00:08:52,700 --> 00:08:53,550 +they pop up. + +229 +00:08:54,050 --> 00:08:55,866 +I would have thought this was obvious both + +230 +00:08:55,866 --> 00:08:58,083 +experientially and tautologically. + +231 +00:08:58,200 --> 00:08:58,983 +And yet... + +232 +00:08:59,550 --> 00:09:01,983 +So in the extremely rare event that a + +233 +00:09:01,983 --> 00:09:04,600 +person searches the wider internet for something to + +234 +00:09:04,600 --> 00:09:06,650 +buy, and the even more rare event that + +235 +00:09:06,650 --> 00:09:08,616 +they find a good result, they might read + +236 +00:09:08,616 --> 00:09:09,416 +the webpage. + +237 +00:09:09,916 --> 00:09:13,183 +Imagine the audacity it takes to stop someone + +238 +00:09:13,183 --> 00:09:15,366 +from trying to give you money to ask + +239 +00:09:15,366 --> 00:09:18,433 +them to participate in some extraneous junk. + +240 +00:09:18,500 --> 00:09:19,216 +Get out of here. + +241 +00:09:19,750 --> 00:09:22,116 +The Digital Markets Act of 2022 in the + +242 +00:09:22,116 --> 00:09:25,266 +EU granted advertising corporations the right to view + +243 +00:09:25,266 --> 00:09:27,300 +the data they've generated, the right to take + +244 +00:09:27,300 --> 00:09:28,850 +their data to other platforms. + +245 +00:09:29,500 --> 00:09:32,050 +In other words, big tech gatekeepers don't get + +246 +00:09:32,050 --> 00:09:34,300 +to lay claim to advertisers and treat them + +247 +00:09:34,300 --> 00:09:35,250 +like property. + +248 +00:09:35,383 --> 00:09:38,566 +It demonstrates we all know interoperability is great + +249 +00:09:38,566 --> 00:09:41,950 +and enclosure is bad, but only shareholders, people + +250 +00:09:41,950 --> 00:09:42,750 +don't get the same. + +251 +00:09:42,750 --> 00:09:46,116 +When making a useful tool, interoperability is the + +252 +00:09:46,116 --> 00:09:47,316 +most important thing. + +253 +00:09:47,583 --> 00:09:50,966 +Before praising AI, before praising the iPhone, society + +254 +00:09:50,966 --> 00:09:53,833 +loved that the internet connected everyone together. + +255 +00:09:54,150 --> 00:09:56,766 +We had a futurist optimism that ideas and + +256 +00:09:56,766 --> 00:09:59,100 +communication could flow, making the world a better + +257 +00:09:59,100 --> 00:10:01,233 +place and building great things. + +258 +00:10:01,566 --> 00:10:02,900 +That didn't happen though. + +259 +00:10:03,150 --> 00:10:04,883 +Now when you try to get two technologies + +260 +00:10:04,883 --> 00:10:06,866 +to work together, they do what they can + +261 +00:10:06,866 --> 00:10:08,016 +to inhibit you. + +262 +00:10:08,150 --> 00:10:10,000 +Gmail does not like when you try to + +263 +00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:12,366 +use a different mail client, perhaps one with + +264 +00:10:12,366 --> 00:10:13,950 +a working spam filter. + +265 +00:10:14,316 --> 00:10:15,883 +Cars used to be forced to use a + +266 +00:10:15,883 --> 00:10:18,766 +standard headlight, but naturally that was lobbied to + +267 +00:10:18,766 --> 00:10:19,383 +death. + +268 +00:10:19,700 --> 00:10:21,583 +Be transparent. + +269 +00:10:22,150 --> 00:10:24,466 +They say knowledge is power, which explains why + +270 +00:10:24,466 --> 00:10:27,216 +businesses obfuscate as much as possible from their + +271 +00:10:27,216 --> 00:10:27,883 +users. + +272 +00:10:28,100 --> 00:10:30,483 +Ask any doctor how much anything costs, they + +273 +00:10:30,483 --> 00:10:31,150 +don't know. + +274 +00:10:31,266 --> 00:10:33,500 +Ask any mechanic how much something would cost, + +275 +00:10:33,700 --> 00:10:34,483 +they don't know. + +276 +00:10:34,716 --> 00:10:36,416 +Yet they expect you to agree to be + +277 +00:10:36,416 --> 00:10:37,950 +on the hook to pay an amount they'll + +278 +00:10:37,950 --> 00:10:39,200 +decide later. + +279 +00:10:39,950 --> 00:10:41,816 +Hidden information is bad. + +280 +00:10:42,166 --> 00:10:45,350 +Software should have observability for itself during development, + +281 +00:10:45,366 --> 00:10:46,950 +and you might as well provide that same + +282 +00:10:46,950 --> 00:10:49,533 +observability to your users while you're at it. + +283 +00:10:50,066 --> 00:10:52,700 +Apple says phones just work, so the world + +284 +00:10:52,700 --> 00:10:53,650 +keeps the faith. + +285 +00:10:53,900 --> 00:10:56,083 +When something doesn't work, if there are logs, + +286 +00:10:56,283 --> 00:10:57,433 +good luck finding them. + +287 +00:10:57,616 --> 00:10:59,350 +On a real computer, if the whole thing + +288 +00:10:59,350 --> 00:11:01,650 +is foobar, you can reformat and start from + +289 +00:11:01,650 --> 00:11:02,283 +scratch. + +290 +00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:04,850 +If your Emacs configuration is out of control, + +291 +00:11:05,066 --> 00:11:05,950 +you can do the same. + +292 +00:11:06,300 --> 00:11:08,350 +Declare Emacs bankruptcy. + +293 +00:11:08,616 --> 00:11:10,250 +But if your phone appears to be haunted, + +294 +00:11:11,016 --> 00:11:12,983 +shrug, throw it in the trash, and buy + +295 +00:11:12,983 --> 00:11:13,700 +a new one. + +296 +00:11:14,083 --> 00:11:16,916 +Let's not retread what Apple hath wrought against + +297 +00:11:16,916 --> 00:11:18,150 +the right to repair. + +298 +00:11:18,816 --> 00:11:21,166 +Security theater has a lot of overlap with + +299 +00:11:21,166 --> 00:11:22,100 +other problems. + +300 +00:11:22,250 --> 00:11:24,800 +Most often, lying about security is the excuse + +301 +00:11:24,800 --> 00:11:26,100 +for user hostility. + +302 +00:11:26,550 --> 00:11:28,716 +Surely I don't have to remind you that + +303 +00:11:28,716 --> 00:11:31,116 +flying is a nightmare, almost entirely for one + +304 +00:11:31,116 --> 00:11:34,750 +reason, the TSA, which is undeniably purely security + +305 +00:11:34,750 --> 00:11:35,350 +theater. + +306 +00:11:35,583 --> 00:11:37,816 +Meanwhile, in the US, where the shoe bomber + +307 +00:11:37,816 --> 00:11:39,516 +was headed for all the effort they put + +308 +00:11:39,516 --> 00:11:41,566 +into telling you that their petty rituals of + +309 +00:11:41,566 --> 00:11:43,666 +dominance are for your protection, they missed + +310 +00:11:43,666 --> 00:11:45,683 +70% of test weapons. + +311 +00:11:45,983 --> 00:11:48,466 +In 2008, when the TSA felt they weren't + +312 +00:11:48,466 --> 00:11:50,966 +getting the respect they entitled themselves to, they + +313 +00:11:50,966 --> 00:11:53,700 +switched their uniforms to look exactly like police + +314 +00:11:53,700 --> 00:11:54,550 +officers. + +315 +00:11:54,766 --> 00:11:58,150 +Okay, TSA tangent over, back to nerd shit. + +316 +00:11:58,683 --> 00:12:00,950 +Websites are afraid of DDoS attacks. + +317 +00:12:01,150 --> 00:12:03,250 +A web server is a fallible thing that + +318 +00:12:03,250 --> 00:12:04,516 +can only deliver so much. + +319 +00:12:04,516 --> 00:12:07,283 +But that isn't why a disgusting number of + +320 +00:12:07,283 --> 00:12:10,050 +websites block VPNs, as evidenced by the fact + +321 +00:12:10,050 --> 00:12:12,166 +that they give you a professionally styled front + +322 +00:12:12,166 --> 00:12:14,000 +-end web page saying they'll let you read + +323 +00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:14,966 +if you sign in. + +324 +00:12:15,516 --> 00:12:17,800 +Conform to known paradigms. + +325 +00:12:18,116 --> 00:12:19,766 +You know how a save icon is a + +326 +00:12:19,766 --> 00:12:20,583 +floppy disk? + +327 +00:12:20,683 --> 00:12:22,583 +That type of storage media is so old, + +328 +00:12:22,683 --> 00:12:24,050 +I bet if you're listening to this, you + +329 +00:12:24,050 --> 00:12:25,416 +physically can't use it. + +330 +00:12:25,783 --> 00:12:27,350 +But the association has stuck. + +331 +00:12:27,783 --> 00:12:29,416 +You know how on mobile, the menu of + +332 +00:12:29,416 --> 00:12:32,616 +all your options is probably three parallel horizontal + +333 +00:12:32,616 --> 00:12:34,966 +lines, aka the hamburger menu? + +334 +00:12:35,250 --> 00:12:37,850 +Another association that everyone just went with. + +335 +00:12:38,116 --> 00:12:40,100 +IRL, this extends much further. + +336 +00:12:40,400 --> 00:12:42,850 +Red light means stop, green light means go. + +337 +00:12:43,383 --> 00:12:44,600 +So when you have an action that could + +338 +00:12:44,600 --> 00:12:46,516 +be destructive, you color code it red. + +339 +00:12:46,866 --> 00:12:49,116 +And when something is constructive, you color code + +340 +00:12:49,116 --> 00:12:49,583 +it green. + +341 +00:12:50,166 --> 00:12:52,100 +These associations are arbitrary. + +342 +00:12:52,416 --> 00:12:53,983 +But since they're there, we keep them. + +343 +00:12:54,516 --> 00:12:55,350 +Can you touch type? + +344 +00:12:55,716 --> 00:12:58,166 +Imagine I presented you with a blank keyboard. + +345 +00:12:58,166 --> 00:13:00,200 +You'd still be able to type due to + +346 +00:13:00,200 --> 00:13:01,550 +a lifetime of training. + +347 +00:13:01,616 --> 00:13:05,050 +Prime example, recent episode of LTT had them + +348 +00:13:05,050 --> 00:13:07,200 +forcing Android on some iPhone users. + +349 +00:13:07,716 --> 00:13:10,000 +To summarize, there's a circle with a symbol + +350 +00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:13,116 +in it, and surprise, it doesn't respond to + +351 +00:13:13,116 --> 00:13:15,666 +being tapped like every other button it wants + +352 +00:13:15,666 --> 00:13:16,900 +you to drag sideways. + +353 +00:13:17,216 --> 00:13:19,550 +"the camera button on the lock screen." + +354 +00:13:19,550 --> 00:13:20,166 +“Yeah” + +355 +00:13:20,166 --> 00:13:22,483 +“It looks like a button so you go to click it + +356 +00:13:22,483 --> 00:13:23,766 +and nothing would happen." + +357 +00:13:23,766 --> 00:13:26,466 +"to me, if you want somebody to swipe, + +358 +00:13:26,466 --> 00:13:27,766 +you do something that makes + +359 +00:13:27,766 --> 00:13:29,066 +it look like you go to swipe. + +360 +00:13:29,066 --> 00:13:30,666 +It's a meme that we've all learned. + +361 +00:13:30,750 --> 00:13:32,333 +If something is wrong, you press it.” + +362 +00:13:32,333 --> 00:13:34,600 +Allow customization. + +363 +00:13:35,100 --> 00:13:36,383 +There's a wise comment + +364 +00:13:36,383 --> 00:13:38,283 + on that Accursed Farms video. + +365 +00:13:38,983 --> 00:13:41,733 +“coming back to this now that windows 11 is out... + +366 +00:13:42,100 --> 00:13:44,500 +imagine being able to move the taskbar. + +367 +00:13:44,783 --> 00:13:47,183 +we had no idea how good we had it back then.” + +368 +00:13:47,533 --> 00:13:50,366 +Why can't you move the taskbar in Windows 11 + +369 +00:13:50,366 --> 00:13:52,233 +so that it can look like OSX. + +370 +00:13:52,350 --> 00:13:55,200 +What is the only rationalization that Apple investors + +371 +00:13:55,200 --> 00:13:57,233 +have been giving for Apple's success? + +372 +00:13:57,416 --> 00:14:00,466 +That Apple has good taste in interface design. + +373 +00:14:00,683 --> 00:14:03,083 +Apple insists that their UX is good because + +374 +00:14:03,083 --> 00:14:05,083 +of the decisions they've made for it. + +375 +00:14:05,316 --> 00:14:07,600 +“We're trying to make great products for people.” + +376 +00:14:07,916 --> 00:14:09,766 +When Apple speaks, the rest of the world + +377 +00:14:09,766 --> 00:14:10,350 +obeys. + +378 +00:14:10,500 --> 00:14:12,916 +So customization options are viewed as less and + +379 +00:14:12,916 --> 00:14:13,716 +less important. + +380 +00:14:14,216 --> 00:14:16,816 +Not to mention, if you're stopped from customization, + +381 +00:14:16,850 --> 00:14:19,250 +for example, modding in some armor for your + +382 +00:14:19,250 --> 00:14:21,366 +horse, now it's something that can be sold + +383 +00:14:21,366 --> 00:14:22,333 +to you instead. + +384 +00:14:22,766 --> 00:14:25,650 +Companies love to dumb everything down, and in + +385 +00:14:25,650 --> 00:14:28,083 +response to criticism, blame it on a hypothetical + +386 +00:14:28,083 --> 00:14:30,833 +group of lowest common denominator people. + +387 +00:14:31,216 --> 00:14:32,916 +This way, you're not presented with the ability + +388 +00:14:32,916 --> 00:14:33,966 +to customize. + +389 +00:14:33,966 --> 00:14:35,300 +It's moved behind a paywall. + +390 +00:14:35,666 --> 00:14:38,350 +But the whole premise that customization is inessential + +391 +00:14:38,350 --> 00:14:39,500 +is wrong. + +392 +00:14:39,816 --> 00:14:41,783 +Normal is not a valid target. + +393 +00:14:41,950 --> 00:14:44,000 +The Air Force learned this in the 40s. + +394 +00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:48,166 +“At its worst point, 17 pilots crashed in a single day.” + +395 +00:14:48,166 --> 00:14:51,283 +“After multiple inquiries ended with no answers, + +396 +00:14:51,283 --> 00:14:54,850 +officials turned their attention to the design of the cockpit itself.” + +397 +00:14:54,850 --> 00:14:57,950 +“To obtain an updated assessment of pilot dimensions, + +398 +00:14:57,950 --> 00:15:00,216 +the air force authorized the largest study of + +399 +00:15:00,216 --> 00:15:02,250 +pilots that had ever been undertaken.” + +400 +00:15:02,250 --> 00:15:04,800 +“Out of 4,063 pilots, + +401 +00:15:04,800 --> 00:15:06,533 +not a single airman fit within the + +402 +00:15:06,533 --> 00:15:08,900 +average range on all 10 dimensions. + +403 +00:15:08,900 --> 00:15:12,000 +If you’ve designed a cockpit to fit the average pilot, + +404 +00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:14,583 +you’ve actually designed it to fit no one.” + +405 +00:15:14,583 --> 00:15:17,283 +And finally, a short list of features that + +406 +00:15:17,283 --> 00:15:19,483 +you know goddamn well no one wants. + +407 +00:15:19,483 --> 00:15:21,566 +No one wants to sign up for your + +408 +00:15:21,566 --> 00:15:22,000 +newsletter. + +409 +00:15:22,300 --> 00:15:24,150 +You aren't interesting enough to fill one out. + +410 +00:15:24,400 --> 00:15:26,950 +Just get the stupid notification out of the way. + +411 +00:15:27,250 --> 00:15:29,800 +Scrolling is not an experience + +412 +00:15:29,800 --> 00:15:31,650 +every vehicle website ever. + +413 +00:15:32,183 --> 00:15:34,850 +Onboarding is at best a necessary evil. + +414 +00:15:35,483 --> 00:15:39,000 +The worst UX anti-pattern emerged a while ago. + +415 +00:15:39,083 --> 00:15:42,016 +It picks a permitted subset of functionality, moves + +416 +00:15:42,016 --> 00:15:44,100 +it away from anywhere it could interoperate with + +417 +00:15:44,100 --> 00:15:47,350 +other systems, entitles itself to priority over what + +418 +00:15:47,350 --> 00:15:49,100 +you're trying to look at so it can + +419 +00:15:49,100 --> 00:15:50,400 +be in front of your eyeballs. + +420 +00:15:51,050 --> 00:15:53,700 +It's everything people hate about pop-up ads, + +421 +00:15:53,900 --> 00:15:56,316 +but so commonly done that it gets enshrined + +422 +00:15:56,316 --> 00:15:57,616 +in UI libraries. + +423 +00:15:58,016 --> 00:15:59,966 +The floating action button. + +424 +00:16:00,683 --> 00:16:02,483 +It's a software screen notch. + +425 +00:16:02,866 --> 00:16:04,816 +The pinnacle of getting in the way. + +426 +00:16:12,066 --> 00:16:15,566 +So, again, get out of the user's way.