an rewrite. I think we're set?

script artifacts/script.md

@@ -4,9 +4,9 @@
 Let me share with you my UX design manifesto.
 ready? Are you all prepared to take notes?
 **Get out of the user's fucking way.**
-Thank you for attending my ted talk.
+Thank you for attending my ted talk, video over.
 
-There is, or could be, technology that exists to be a means to an end. Instead, software in Current Year is entirely an exercise in being an obstacle.
+...no alright, I'll elaborate. There is, or could be, technology that exists to be a means to an end. Instead, software in $CurrentYear is entirely an exercise in being an obstacle.
 
 ## windows
 
@@ -15,13 +15,14 @@ You know what finally tipped me over the edge to give up on windows, even if tha
 I was playing warframe, and then windows 10 popped up a full screen ad - on a monitor I couldn't see at the time - that told me "you said you'd sign up for a trial of our cloud bullshit now." I couldn't figure out why the game had ostensibly frozen until I walked around my apartment to sit back at my desk and read this ad, and as ever communicate one of the microsoft-sanctioned responses of "yes I would love to right now" or "yes I would love to but not right now".
 No flavor of linux has ever pulled a stunt like that. 
 
-there's a joke about how microsoft shoved windows 11 (and also 10) down everyone's throats, then popped up a window in their way to ask if they would recommend windows to a friend? the joke for socially well-adjusted normal people is: "I need you to understand that people don't recommend each other operating systems." That applies, for them. But for nerds who are currently staring at several screens running several different flavors of linux... People do. But the people who do... understand how terrible windows is, and the myriad of ways it's only getting worse. 
+there's a joke about how microsoft shoved windows 11 (and also 10) down everyone's throats, then popped up a window in their way to ask if they would recommend windows to a friend? the joke for socially well-adjusted, normal people is: "I need you to understand that people don't recommend each other operating systems." That applies, for them. But for nerds who are currently staring at several screens running several different flavors of linux... People do. But the people who do... understand how terrible windows is, and the myriad of ways it's only getting worse. 
 [note] Speaking of, don't worry, I don't (presently) have plans to evangelize for my favorite operating system.
+One wonders if this is some kind of bet between an engineer and his delusional project manager.
 
 ### obligatory mention of AI
 
+[next line: no audio, but for visual, star wars bit where palpatine is saying "have you heard the tale of darth plageus"]
 have you heard the tale of Clippy?
-[bit where palpatine is saying "have you heard the tale of darth plageus"]
 Way back, in the before times, some cutting-edge psychological research was done that demonstrated people anthropomorphize their computers.
 So some cufflink-wearing motherfucker said "great, people will emotionally attach to their computer more if we anthropomorphize them." 
 [https://web.archive.org/web/20180313075429/https://web.stanford.edu/dept/news/pr/95/950106Arc5423.html or https://archive.org/details/g4tv.com-video4080 ?] But then the great mistake was made, which was: well if people react to computers as though they're people, we have to put the faces of people on computers. Which in my opinion is exactly the incorrect reaction. If people are going to react to computers as though they're humans, the one thing you don't have to do is anthropomorphize them, because they're already using that part of the brain. Clippy was a program based on the research that Nass and Reeves did, and it was a tragic misinterpretation of their work."
@@ -29,13 +30,19 @@ So now you start up your word processor and it jumps in the way to say hi and ch
 Fortunately, clippy was killed off pretty quickly. As long as people are projecting a personality onto their computer, we hated clippy as intensely as we'd hate any other pest. And of course there are some people who felt the opposite, I'll leave a link in the show notes to an erotic fan fiction starring clippy that you can actually buy.
 [https://www.amazon.de/-/en/Leonard-Delaney-ebook/dp/B00UJ01WBW]
 
-Microsoft eventually came to their senses and euthanized clippy. Then a few years later, they bought Halo. Once that story concluded, some idiot at microsoft figured they could make clippy happen, as Cortana. The arms race between users trying to disable cortana and microsoft "accidentally" reenabling her could be its own video.
-years pass. I hope you're watching this video far enough in the future that I have to remind you about how the most glorified markov chain in the world, chatGPT, conquered society.
-Cortana is dead. Now, microsoft will make you love Copilot. 
-Remember how they tripped over their own dick right out of the gate by starting at step 1 with a feature that automatically screenshots your credit card details and passwords? hah, good times.
+Microsoft eventually came to their senses and euthanized clippy. Then a few years later, they bought Halo. Once that story concluded, some idiot at microsoft figured they could try again to make clippy happen, as Cortana. The arms race between users trying to disable cortana and microsoft "accidentally" reenabling her could be its own video.
+years pass, the most glorified markov chain in the world, chatGPT, conqueres society.
+Cortana is dead. 
+[next line: that comic with google and google+ "papa, why do they not love me? i do not know, child. But I will MAKE them love you." replace google with MS, and google+ with copilot]
+Now, microsoft will make you love Copilot. 
+Remember how they tripped over their own dick right out of the gate by starting at step 1 with a feature that automatically screenshots your credit card details and passwords? 
+[next line: with an undercurrent of damage. in a "laugh so you don't cry" kind of way]
+hah, good times.
 
-at the risk of just complaining about AI all video... let me indulge in one last tangent.
-openweathermap.org has a chatbot. FUCKING WHY? so that I can look past the weather forecast and ask it to tell me? ...let's try it.
+at the risk of making yet another complaining-about-Ai video... indulge me one last tangent.
+openweathermap.org has a chatbot. 
+FUCKING... WHY? so that I can look past the weather forecast and ask it to tell me?
+...let's try it.
 [ulla] "i don't provide the weather, only help with the documentation"
 THE PERFUNCTORY CHATBOT ON THE WEATHER SITE DOESN'T EVEN TELL YOU THE GOD. DAMNED. WEATHER.
 [filthy frank] It's time to stop!
@@ -72,7 +79,7 @@ but don't worry, it's not just phones. my laptop, much like every single other l
 
 GPS.
 you know why people put up with google's tracking? because for as much dumb bullshit as waze is laden with, for as wrong as apple is, and for as much as google maps is a thinly veiled excuse for google to catalog your gps position down to the meter and second... those 3 are the only apps that offer driving directions and understand the concept of a road.
-[Osmand+ doing its thing]
+[Osmand+ doing its thing, as demonstrated at the start of "what apple hath wrought"]
 
 ### notifications
 
@@ -82,37 +89,44 @@ the vast majority of apps do not need to give notifications. Honestly the vast m
 ### automation
 
 question: how do you automate your phone? if you try and do some research online, both sides of the walled gardens have a *plethora* of stupid ways to decrease your productivity of automating *other* stuff *from* your phone. But since your phone is the nexus of your security and identity, you aren't allowed to let anything go poking around in it.
+[next line: have "a phone automating" on screen, move "automating" around so it reads "automating a phone"]
 So there is almost *no* concept of "automating a phone".
 And therefore you'll have to pull up DAVx and hit refresh, manually.
 [//TODO: footage]
 You're begrudgingly allowed to install apps without google's blessing through 3rd party app stores, but you may not automatically update them.
 [//TODO: screenshot of update from fdroid]
-Worst of all: companies have fully embraced the trend that while they aren't capable of crafting a concise UI with the benefit of a full size screen... surely they'll get it right this time in a harder environment? So companies tend to unapologetically introduce or update features *only* for their mobile interfaces.
-[//TODO: examples]
+Worst of all: companies have fully embraced the trend that while they aren't capable of crafting a concise UI with the benefit of a full size screen... surely they'll get it right this time in a harder environment? So companies tend to tell you not to use their website, but instead to use their mobile app.
+[//TODO: screenshot from reddit. I'm sure there's more, but that's adequate]
 
 ### debugging
 
 Debugging.
 I mentioned my DAVx problem a second ago. Clearly something is wrong with my installation. What, though? fuck knows.
 [note] Yes, I have exempted it from battery optimization.
-Apple says phones "just work", so the world keeps the faith. When something doesn't work, if there are logs, good luck finding them. On a real computer, if the whole thing is completely fucked, you can reformat and start from scratch. You can "declare emacs bankruptcy". But if your phone appears to be haunted? Throw it in the trash and buy a new one.
-[footage of latest iPhone pricing]
+Apple says phones "just work", so the world keeps the faith. When something doesn't work, if there are logs, good luck finding them. On a real computer, if the whole thing is completely fucked, you can reformat and start from scratch. If your emacs configuration is out of control, you can do the same - "declare emacs bankruptcy". 
+[programmers are also human, interview with emacs user] something to the effect of "i just work on my config"
+[next line: https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2017/dec/29/apple-apologises-for-slowing-older-iphones-battery-performance]
+But if your phone appears to be haunted?
+[next line: footage of latest iPhone pricing]
+Throw it in the trash and buy a new one.
 
 ### files
 
 there's a joke that millenials (and gen-z-ers) have to teach boomers how to open a PDF. But apple-loyalty is most rampant among them - I dare you to try this exercise.  Bring up your preferred communications-with-strangers app (e.g., X). 
 [xkcd about how apps tell you about their updates]
-Dismiss the patch notes. Find an image you'd like to interact with later. Maybe you want to draw on it. maybe you just want to send it as is. Download it.
+Dismiss the patch notes. Find an image you'd like to interact with later. Maybe you want to draw on it. maybe you just want to send it as is. Download it. where is it?
 
-where is it? fuck knows. For the sake of lip-service to the concept of security, much work has been done to ensure apps aren't allowed to share files.
+fuck knows. So good luck finding it to bring into your editor. For the sake of lip-service to the concept of security, much work has been done to ensure apps aren't allowed to share files.
 [show an old-timey balance scale, put the downsides on one side]
 In exchange for the twin downsides of "virtually every app is pointless" and "a truly useful app is prevented from existing", we have accomplished nothing in the way of privacy.
 [pitch meeting] "oh, whoops!" "whoopsie!"
 
-Ogg Vorbis *continues* to be superior to mp3. More fidelity. More efficient compression. But apple says mp3 is fine, so, rest in peace OGG. you were the OG.
+Ogg Vorbis *continues* to be superior to mp3. More fidelity. More efficient compression. But apple says mp3 is fine, so, rest in peace OGG. 
+[now: gravestone for OGG]
+you were the OG.
 ...G.
-Don't worry, there's a million billion music player apps. The only problem is that none of them matter. You know what *would* be great? if you could download an audio codec on the play store, and whatever music player app you like could use it. 
-[pronounce "modern" with nausea]
+Don't worry, there's a million billion music player apps for mobile. The only problem is that none of them matter. You know what *would* be great? if you could download an audio codec on the play store, and whatever music player app you like could use it. 
+[next line: pronounce "modern" with nausea]
 But that would require apps to work on the old paradigm - where they read and write files, and interact with each other. The modern strategy is not to let the user control their files. that way when the platform owner decides they want to sell your data, they already got it from you.
 
 ### web