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Why do you hate people on TikTok so
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much?
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Is it just portrait orientation?
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Inhale when you're- Ha!
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I get it!
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He's mentally ripped off!
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Whoa, whoa!
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I could pick out plenty of low quality
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garbage on TikTok, say, this is what's on
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TikTok and that's why TikTok is bad, just
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as easily as I could cherry pick high
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quality stuff and say, this is what's on
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TikTok and that's why TikTok is great.
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I know saying anything negative about TikTok gets
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me branded as old, so let me pull
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out a reference that's even older than me.
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Sturgeon's Law, 90% of everything is crap.
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That's not the problem.
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I don't hate people or content on TikTok.
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Well, I do, but not any more than
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the same for any other platform.
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I hate TikTok.
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We should all make that sort of distinction.
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We should treat technology platforms as tools people
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use rather than gatherings of people.
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When you let a platform become a place,
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and then your place, it feels like your
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home, and now it has a hook in
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you.
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I don't know if people still have a
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feeling of a home forum.
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I won't bore you with mine, but I'll
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say that even now, NWS feels right and
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NSFW feels weird.
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So what?
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You may say.
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Cultures emerge, something, something, diversity, etc.
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Microcosms of culture are all well and good,
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but that's not what's happening on modern social
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media.
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Every interaction with other people is mediated through
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an algorithm, often labeled AI for marketing reasons,
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that sorts you into a group of like
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-minded people, and shields you from dissent.
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An account on a website is not membership
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in a community, it's placement within a market
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segment.
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I'd argue that the acronym NWS counts as
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slang.
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We might know some TikTok slang.
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How about the euphemism on Alive?
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It's a subcategory of slang called algo-speak.
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Saying the word murder worries platform owners that
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you'll offend the delicate sensibilities of shareholders, so
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TikTok censors the concepts they don't want you
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to discuss.
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At the risk of starting an internet argument,
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censorship is bad, and stopping you from saying
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something is censorship.
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We are witnessing censorship and pitiful attempts to
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circumvent it right now.
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If you have something to say about some
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unfavorable topic, perhaps the Tiananmen Square Massacre, yet
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you feel attached to TikTok like it was
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your home, you dance around the topic to
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fly under the radar of the censors.
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In doing so, you're self-censoring.
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Imagine if TikTok had some way to ask
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you if you're interested in the current trending
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thing, like Twitter's trending topics.
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Now imagine that there's an approaching protest for
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an extradition bill, but ByteDance doesn't want you
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mentioning it.
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The meme would be to instead say something
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boring like tax return extension.
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Spreading awareness is not going to happen, but
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people perform the meme because what they care
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about is their fame on TikTok.
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A place is made for you, and all
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it asks is that you let them have
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your speech.
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In the technology sector, the way to make
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money is to blatantly do something evil and
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call it innovation.
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Have you heard the most irritating phrasal template,
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as-a-service?
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Minimal version for any grass-touching griddle critters?
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When you make some software thing for people,
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there's inevitably a technology stack, like this one.
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You would buy these things, and then have
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them.
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What a concept.
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What if you gave money to the vendor,
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repeatedly, forever, and then they didn't give you
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the networking, storage, servers, or virtualization?
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Let them handle all that for you.
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That is infrastructure-as-a-service.
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What if you're on a higher tier of
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this infinite payment model, and also the vendor
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didn't let you touch the operating system, any
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middleware, or the runtime?
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Let them handle all that for you.
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That's platform-as-a-service.
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What if your subscription was a bit more
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expensive, and they owned your data and applications
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too?
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Let them handle all that for you.
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That's software-as-a-service.
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Generally, the allure is that it's a lower
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startup cost and outsource complexity.
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Sure, you can't take your stuff elsewhere, but
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as long as they never alter the deal,
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the math works out.
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The problem is, as ever, conflicting incentives.
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You want to build a thing that makes
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money elsewhere, but the platform wants to make
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money from you.
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So if you want to connect technologies, build
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off each other, of course the platform wants
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to jump in the way and charge you
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for it.
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That's what it does.
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Notice, once a platform owner has its hooks
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in you, you own less and less.
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In the past, there have been game mods
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that spawned genres of video games.
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You'd better believe that if you try that
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again, the game's publisher will be taking ownership
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of that idea from you, thank you very
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much.
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Twitter users, or twits, or ex-people, have
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been complaining about how it's dead, for real
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this time, for the majority of its existence.
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A constant cycle of the platform finding new
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ways to suck, people threatening to leave, and
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then not leaving.
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Now, realistically, Twitter is no stranger to jokes
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and hyperbole about leaving the hell site forever.
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If you're a Twitter executive, the message is
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clear.
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People will accept whatever you do to them,
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as long as you're slow enough.
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YouTube has the same pattern.
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Its history is a litany of shifting creators'
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Adsense money over to copyright squatters, while encouraging
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worse and worse content.
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Twitch, the company built on South Korean StarCraft
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streamers, which pulled out of Korea because it's
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too expensive, might as well send everyone a
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handwritten note to say, leave our platform.
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No one will.
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It's a classic problem.
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On YouTube, people view Rumble as a place
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filled with undesirable exiles.
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To be fair, there's plenty.
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Twitchists and ex-people make up reasons for
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themselves to view the users of their platform's
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rivals as their own enemies.
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When you think of yourself not as a
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creator of static video content, but rather as
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a YouTuber, YouTube rests on that loyalty.
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That's way easier than doing anything to implement
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moderation features like what Twitch has.
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All they have to do is let you
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tell yourself there's barbarians at the gates.
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If you have the inexplicable addiction to Twitter
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that the world seems to have, you won't
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dream of being able to post 1024 characters
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at a time, like we've been doing on
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Mastodon this whole time.
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Or you might say something dumb like this.
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Good luck finding a site that isn't owned
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by an ethically compromised billionaire.
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Without realizing that a communication network doesn't have
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to be centralized under one man's portfolio.
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So you don't have to weigh the choice
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of ditching your entire social circle against contributing
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to the property of someone leaning hard into
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fascism.
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What if, rather than platform barons trying to
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take everything they can from you, they spent
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that effort trying to take from each other?
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We could federate them together.
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But I'll spare you a second episode of
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Fediverse Evangelism.
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You know what was federated well before the
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Fediverse was built?
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Email.
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Servers talk to each other, and your email
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address is you at server.
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Amazing.
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There's a reason that happened.
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Socially well-adjusted normal people were forced to
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use email.
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To help them understand, they were told it's
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like writing a letter.
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So manager types the world over decided that
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the custom in email land is to add
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pointless bullshit before and after every single message.
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Jonathan Doe, MD Esquire, Chief Assistant to the
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Executive Administrative Assistant of Regional Internal Officers.
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Hello, H.
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Berger.
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I hope this missive finds you well.
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Tech Solutions Technology Solution, Bumfuck, Iowa.
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Visit us at clownpenis.org.
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Call us at 555-777-7777, extension 1497
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-A1.
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Connect with us on LinkedIn, Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest,
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Snapchat, OnlyFans, Tinder, Grindr during June, WeChat, Whatsapp,
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send us an email.
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Disclaimer.
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The content of this message is protected by
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Magic Legal Incantation 21497 subsection 12408.
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By having an email address that receives this
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email, you agree to waive your right to
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a trial by your peers, now and in
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perpetuity.
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Begone, and a pox upon thy house, hyper
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-litigator!
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Hello again, H.
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Berger.
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Thank you for sending me an electronic mail.
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It has come to my attention that you
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aren't using official company letterhead.
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This is unprofessional and reflects poorly on our
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corporate image.
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Please rectify this immediately.
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That's based on a true story.
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A common one, surely.
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Unfortunately, people think of that as a story
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typical of email, and treat email accordingly.
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But the technology is irrelevant.
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That's a story typical of communication with soulless
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business husks.
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Nevertheless, rest in peace, email.
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Greatness squandered.
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You and I could send one-word emails.
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We could email memes.
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But its association with a workplace chains it
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to miserable connotations.