more text tweak

src/script.md

@@ -6,12 +6,13 @@
 *inhale*
 [Internet Comment Etiquette, the episode with P.T. Barnum] "when your.. *snicker*" "...? ...oh i get it, he's mentally ret-" "WOAHH!"
 
-
 I could pick out plenty of low-quality garbage on tiktok, say "this is what's on tiktok and that's why tiktok is bad", just as easily as I could cherrypick high quality stuff and say "this is what's on tiktok and that's why tiktok is great". 
 I know saying anything negative about tiktok gets me branded as old, so let me pull out a reference that's even older than me. 
 [the reference i'll be pulling out: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sturgeon%27s_law, which shows Venture Science september 1957]
 Sturgeon's Law: 90% of *everything* is crap. 
-That's not the problem. I don't hate people or content on TikTok. (Well, I do, but not any more than the same for every other platform.) I hate TikTok. We should all make that sort of distinction - we should treat technology platforms as tools people use, rather than gatherings of people. 
+[note] Well, I do, but not any more than the same for every other platform.
+That's not the problem. I don't hate people or content on TikTok. I hate TikTok.
+We should all make that sort of distinction - we should treat technology platforms as tools people use, rather than gatherings of people. 
 When you let a platform become a place, and then *your* place, it feels like your home, and now it has a hook in you.
 
 ## how we do it now
@@ -27,11 +28,9 @@ Microcosms of culture are all well and good. But that's not what's happening on
 I'd argue the acronym "NWS" counts as slang. We might know some tiktok-slang - how about the euphemism "unalive"? It's a subcategory of slang called algospeak. Saying the word "murder" worries platform owners that you'll offend the delicate sensibilities of shareholders, so tiktok censors the concepts they don't want you to discuss.
 [some kind of graphic, "things that I imagine are obvious" for the following 2 points]
 At the risk of starting an internet argument, censorship is bad, and stopping you from saying something is censorship.  we are witnessing censorship, and pitiful attempts to circumvent it, right now. 
-Hypothetical: suppose I said, if anyone says the word "the" in my house, I'll hit them. One imagines you would leave *the* house pretty quick.
+if you have something to say about some unfavorable topic - perhaps tiennamen square - yet you feel attached to tiktok like it was your home.. you dance around the topic to fly under the radar of the censors. In doing so, you're self-censoring.
-Now suppose you live in my house. Now it's quite clear that I'm abusing you.
+imagine if tiktok had some way to ask you if you're interested in the current trending thing, like twitter's trending topics. Now imagine that there's an approaching protest for an extradition bill, but bytedance doesn't want you mentioning it. The meme would be to instead say something boring, like... tax return extension. Spreading awareness is not going to happen. But people perform the meme because what they care about is their fame on tiktok.
-TikTok algospeak is appeasing that sort of behavior. 
+A place is made for you, and all it asks is that you let them have your speech.
-
-if you have something to say about some unfavorable topic - perhaps a certain demonstration in a certain square in the year i was born - yet you feel attached to tiktok like it was your home.. you dance around the topic to fly under the radar of the censors. In doing so, you're self-censoring. imagine if tiktok had some way to ask you if you're interested in the current trending thing, like twitter's trending topics. Now imagine that there *was* an approaching protest for an extradition bill, but for some reason that couldn't be said outright, so the meme was to instead say something boring, like... tax return extension. Spreading awareness is not going to happen. But people do this because what they care about is their fame on tiktok. A place is made for you, and all it asks is that you let them have your speech.
 
 ### example as a service
 
@@ -43,11 +42,14 @@ you would buy these things, and then have them.
 [sarcastically]
 what a concept.
 [as I mention a thing the vendor controls, have some sort of hellish black spike, or maybe eldritch tentacle, wrapping around an item and dragging it back away]
-what if you gave money to the vendor, repeatedly forever, and then they didn't give you the networking, storage, servers, or virtualization? that's Infrastructure As A Service. 
+What if you gave money to the vendor, repeatedly forever, and then they didn't give you the networking, storage, servers, or virtualization? let them handle all that for you. that's Infrastructure As A Service.
-What if you were on this Infinite Payment model, and *also* the vendor didn't let you touch the operating system, any middleware, or the runtime? that's a Platform As A Service. 
+What if you were on a higher tier of this Infinite Payment model, and *also* the vendor didn't let you touch the operating system, any middleware, or the runtime? let them handle all that for you. that's a Platform As A Service. 
-What if your subscription was a bit more expensive, and they owned your data and applications, too? That's Software As A Service.
+What if your subscription was a bit more expensive, and they owned your data and applications, too? let them handle all that for you. That's Software As A Service.
 [exhale, back to normal speed]
-generally the allure is that it's lower *startup* cost, that you get to outsource complexity and effort to them. Sure you can't take your stuff elsewhere, but as long as they never raise the price, the math works out.
+generally the allure is that it's lower *startup* cost and outsourced complexity. Sure, you can't take your stuff elsewhere, but as long as they never alter the deal, the math works out.
+The problem is, as ever, conflicting incentives - you want to build a thing that makes money elsewhere, but the platform wants to make money from you. So if you want to connect technology, build off each other, of course the platform wants to jump in the way and charge you for it. 
+[text on screen]
+That's what it does.
 
 ### are we happy yet